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We went to see Star Wars Episode III last night. The more I think about it the more annoyed I am that some thing so badly written and acted could have so much money spent on it and receive so much adoration. But am I being to harsh? Surely it must have some good points... let tally them up shall we: PRO's R2D2 - especially at the start of the film R2 was used really well and gave some great laughs, strangely enough for a dustbin on wheel he showed probably the best characterisation in the whole movie. Special Effects - the computer animation in the film is superb, Yoda (when not jumping around like a loon) looked very plausible as a real 'person' although was no where near Gollum when it comes to 'performance' in a CGi character. Music - Old School = Ace Sound Effects - see above Design - Great all round nice to that that Alderan was the source of the 1970's funky design that seems to have swept the galaxy by the time 'a new hope hope' comes around. Natalie Portman - looking good as always, but couldn't act for shit in this... but more of that soon... CONS Acting - no one except Ewan McGregor seemed to be able to give anything near a decent performance in this, to call them wooden would be the equivalent of calling the great rain forests a bit 'twiggy'. Portman seemed to be reading her dreadful lines off of a piece of cardboard, Ian McDiarmid was auditioning for pantomime (why do villains always find that the best way to express how evil they are is to laugh in a evil kinda way?), Hayden Chistensen was for the lack of any other word... shit, and i couldn't even concentrate on Samuel L Jackson's performance for all the eye popping gurning he was pulling. Wookies - why? they didn't do anything (expect prove that even in a universe full of millions upon millions of different 'people' everyone knows some one who knows someone)... but strangely the toys shops are full of wookie toys, they cant be cashing in on our love of the original trilogy can they? Script - the dialogue is THE WORST i have ever heard in a cinema, so lets leave that at that. The Plotting is just over complicated and full of unbelievable turns of events and mistakes, for one Obi Wan starts referring to the senator as 'The Emperor' when he has no way of know that the senator has only just declared him self such. Anakins Turning - completely unbelievable and stupid Yoda - "Not if anything I have to say about it, Lord Sidious. At an end your rule is and not short enough it was, I must say. " No More, Say Must I... Tying up loose ends - we were promised that all the looses ends would be tied up in this move, why was C3PO's memory wiped? what did we get... some guy just decide that is would be a good idea. Why don't the Jedi fade away when they die...because Yoda says Qui Gon* has found a way to come back from the dead a train jedi to do so, but why dont we see a ghostly Liam Neeson? probably because he read the script and though it was pants Clones/ Storm Troopers - why are they taking their helmets off to show poorly digitally stuck on heads in this movie but not in any subsequent films. Why have they decided that camouflage is no longer an advantage in subsequent films? why have they got names in this film? Space Travel - Why dose space travel take so long in the IV - VI but everyone one can travel between planets instantaneously in this film? Light Sabre Battle- to fast and too dark Why? - why didnt Obi Wan just use the force to push Anakin into the lava to finish him off? !) it would show mercy and but his old friend out of his agony and 2) it would make sure that he was dead and couldn't return Grievous - why waste time with this stupid piece of product placement? and as for that bird thing obi wan had to ride around!!!!!!!!!! Length - too long, i was dying for a piss Best of the trilogy - maybe but if i had to watch any again I would go for phantom menace because at least Liam Neeson can act and the Darth Maul fight was the best thing the whole trilogy (if only they didn't kill him off they could have been hope for these movies) verdict 4/10 - a big flashly pile of crap thats good to look at until you turn your brain on. posted by Loop # 7:27 am  
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